After All,I am the Ghost

I have been this ghost for long time.Being a ghost can be overwhelming and disappointing at the same time.Humans seems to be bravest unlike the Ghost or angels who have the option of disappearing to the situation.I reached a point in life where i am going to put an end to my ghost life and start living a simple man who did let's go few angels in his life time.I wish I did had this realization few years back but I am glad for where I am now.A man should always build an identity in a community he chooses and Ghost's theory never works and never will.hav fun :)))

You know how I hate to wait !!!

I like things to happen now. Don't like to wait. But I've finally decided to accept that whenever anything monumental takes place in my life--no doubt about it waiting will be a big part of it. Waiting to hear...either I'm waiting in the beginning, the middle, or at the end of something and sometimes--Lord help me--I have to wait at all three stops along the way. I hate to wait, probably because I'm not good at it.

Instead of just waiting, I dream up stuff while I'm waiting. Stuff about whomever or whatever I'm waiting for, convoluted reasons about why I have to wait. This man in waiting starts with the usual,rational waiting thoughts; people are busy or things take time,maybe someone is on vacation or out sick. But only a few hours into waiting and I'm crafting troubling stories in my mind; they're notsure, they don't want me, and it was all a big mistake. Next I try to weasel out of waiting--perhaps I misunderstood--was I supposed to call or mail them?

And if the waiting continues I run out of excuses and patience and my thoughts turn ugly. Okay, I don't care if they ever call and when they do call I'll act like it's no big deal. (This is where I temporarily get angry because they're making me wait.) But I do care and I do wish they'd call or mail and I don't want to be angry--and the bottom line is I need to learn how to wait. So that's what I've decided to do.

Yesterday I started working on an emergency how-to-wait plan. You can't develop a hurricane plan when the weather person says, "Run for cover" and I can't implement a waiting plan in the middle of along drawn-out wait. But already I'm beginning to get a little frustrated because I haven't come up with any good ideas yet--unfortunately I'm still waiting--and you know how I hate to wait.

Life is Short,Stay Awake for it

Yes,This is tagline of Caribou coffee. Well as im sitting in this sea shore ,I found my life in a flash or big wave .Im not sure exactly what happened,but i felt an angel pulled me off when all of sudden i found myself drowning.It is long story and I better kept it short as the tagline says.This is my second innings in life and i want to make this life's everyday count .

Loyalty on my ideas and principles more than being open minded towards others

There is this needling, clawing, feeling that runs through me now and then.I have lost few of my good friends and opportunities just because i was trying hard to be loyal enough to my ideas and principles over being little open minded towards them. They way i used to communicate my ideas and principles also had lot to do with all the invaluable loss in my life.

Sometimes it gets so loud it feels like a snowball that started at the top of a long hill and the farther it rolls down the hill, the bigger and faster it goes. I take action. Start doing my best to dodge the scary thing, but maybe I should just sit down in its path and let it whack me, shake off the snow and cold and sift my way through the fear.

Sometimes i think maybe i need to go through this big loss to learn from that experience but it keeps happening like quick sand. I got nowhere to run and almost end up losing everything i had.

Fear of losing my closed ones and not having anyone around is one of my loudest emotions these days. There is hardly any one left by my side to see, share and enjoy my growth and success. History states that In the midst of fear many times there's something good waiting. I wish to discover that part of the life sooner than later.

My Little Sunshine ...

Day by day I float my paper boats one by one down the running stream...
In big black letters I write my name on them and the name of the village where I live...
I hope that someone in some strange land will find them and know who I am...
I load my little boats with shiuli flowers from ourgarden, and hope that these blooms of the dawn will be carried safely to land in the night..
I launch my paper boats and look up into the sky and see thelittle clouds setting their white bulging sails...
I know not what playmate of mine in the sky sends them down theair to race with my boats!.
When night comes I bury my face in my arms and dream that mypaper boats float on and on under the midnight stars...
The fairies of sleep are sailing in them, and the lading is their baskets full of dreams.

-(Rabindranath Tagore)

Getting Back Into the Groove !!!

Here I sit. I've been trying to be a naughty writer.I took a couple of weeks off to India. Some people would say time off is necessary now-and-then and who knows, maybe it really is for most people. But getting back into the groove after I've taken a few days off--it's torture when I return. Can't seem to recall, feeling cutoff, slowly inching forward...how did I do this all over again?

The experts say that people gain a new perspective when they take a vacation from their routine. But I don't think what I'm experiencing today is what the experts had in mind. Before I took my vacation to India I felt like I was all caught up, but now that I'm back, I realize how far behind I really am.

It's a new year;I'm into my regular routine, I'm typing on my laptop screen and writing at least three others in my mind.Sorting, sifting through ideas, getting a handle on how I really feel about something, I walk around for days trying to figure it out, so I can confess up in tomorrow's world. But apparently when I was on vacation everything shut down, my laptop screen went blank and so did my mind...but the good news is I am back.

Buddy it's good to be back !!!