You know how I hate to wait !!!

I like things to happen now. Don't like to wait. But I've finally decided to accept that whenever anything monumental takes place in my life--no doubt about it waiting will be a big part of it. Waiting to hear...either I'm waiting in the beginning, the middle, or at the end of something and sometimes--Lord help me--I have to wait at all three stops along the way. I hate to wait, probably because I'm not good at it.

Instead of just waiting, I dream up stuff while I'm waiting. Stuff about whomever or whatever I'm waiting for, convoluted reasons about why I have to wait. This man in waiting starts with the usual,rational waiting thoughts; people are busy or things take time,maybe someone is on vacation or out sick. But only a few hours into waiting and I'm crafting troubling stories in my mind; they're notsure, they don't want me, and it was all a big mistake. Next I try to weasel out of waiting--perhaps I misunderstood--was I supposed to call or mail them?

And if the waiting continues I run out of excuses and patience and my thoughts turn ugly. Okay, I don't care if they ever call and when they do call I'll act like it's no big deal. (This is where I temporarily get angry because they're making me wait.) But I do care and I do wish they'd call or mail and I don't want to be angry--and the bottom line is I need to learn how to wait. So that's what I've decided to do.

Yesterday I started working on an emergency how-to-wait plan. You can't develop a hurricane plan when the weather person says, "Run for cover" and I can't implement a waiting plan in the middle of along drawn-out wait. But already I'm beginning to get a little frustrated because I haven't come up with any good ideas yet--unfortunately I'm still waiting--and you know how I hate to wait.